And the most important

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There are lots of difficult words in therapy. Trauma, abuse, grief, change are just a few of the hard words therapy causes to surface. However, there is one word that is more difficult than all the others for most of my clients:


There are three words—acknowledgment, acceptance, and change—on the road to recovery. Change cannot come without the other two.

However, it is the word and act of acceptance that most of my clients find the hardest to see, say, and do. Acceptance means that one has to accept fully that what has happened to them to this point…


Being afraid of what happens next

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When clients come to see me for the first time, they always say that they want to change their lives and change who they are in their lives.

However, when we start working on that change and they start to think about what that change is going to look like, their fear can sometimes keep them from making forward progress.

When we have trauma, we have developed responses to that trauma since the trauma started. With every subsequent trauma, we have more responses added.

All of these responses shape how we think, how we react, and how we live.



Love is for always

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In the way you watch at the window waiting for me to arrive home
coming out to walk me in when the path is icy
flowers for no particular reason except that you love me
and my favorite wines that just appear

The special nickname reserved only for me
and I love you spoken many times over each day
letting me watch a series over and over without complaint
and finding tear-jerker movies for us to share

Reaching out to me with texts and calls throughout the day
and understanding my need for silence after stressful work
making sure I have all…


And I am not sorry

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Thirst traps are everywhere these days. Every social media platform has them. Filled with very beautiful people who lure you in and cause you to continuously scroll to see more and more of them.

Many of these are celebrities and whole communities are built around them on social media like Tik Tok and then carried on in fan fiction on sites like Wattpad. Many of those who follow these thirst traps are considered to be “Stans” or stalker fans. It can be anyone from Adam Driver to the fictional Draco Malfoy.

Of course, there are plenty of thirst traps with…


A small fiction

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The busy streets are filled with noise. Colors whizzing by mechanical and humanoid. Indistinct conversations and the smell of exhaust. Chance finds me here waiting for what I think is a bus. But chance has other plans this day.

To my left, another bench now occupied by a creature so beautiful I dare not look completely for fear of going blind. Glimpses of mahogany shined hair and porcelain skin. Lips the color of cherries. Wrapped in cream.

The sound of the city drowning out my heartbeat but only barely. My hands feel hot even though it is quite cool today…


A single thought can change your life

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I have a sign in my office that states, do one thing every day that makes you happy.

In a world of grief, division, blame, and Covid hangover finding happiness can seem a herculean task. But finding one thing, no matter how small, might seem a little more doable.

Think right now the first thing that comes to your mind that makes you happy. What is it? It does not matter what it is. It does not have to be something big or enormously meaningful. It can be tiny and to others may seem insignificant or even trivial, but to…


Fearing a return to normal

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For the last few months, I have been working with many of my clients in therapy on what I am now calling COVID re-entry anxiety.

Most all of my clients are now fully vaccinated. Almost all of their families are fully vaccinated. Many of them have had COVID previously. Our state has one of the lowest total new case of COVID numbers in the US — and yet they are all still afraid.

They are not really afraid of COVID anymore, and in fact when I ask them about their fears, COVID itself is almost never mentioned as a factor…


Emotional work is tiring

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If you work in the mental health or helping (caregiving) fields you know all too well that emotional work is just as tiring as physical labor. Maybe even more so.

Unfortunately, there are many people who do not think so and do not understand the toll that it takes on a person’s mind and body.

Many mental health workers have been inundated this past year with an influx of clients. Many of these clients are suffering with depression, anxiety, and trauma responses due to the nature of the pandemic.

Mental health workers have found their caseloads exploding to unmanageable numbers…

Pieces to fill your heart

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The love of reading has long been one of my greatest pleasures. Over the past two months myself and others have been writing to provide pieces for your heart and mind to consume. Please visit these links to feed your love of reading.


In Silent Night Of Christmas a poem by Robin McNamara in Write In The Flow

Let It Go a poem by Deborah Horton

Humanity a poem by Liam Flanagan

Find Margin a poem by Deborah Horton

All Time Great a poem by Deborah Horton

Say The Word a poem by Liam Flanagan

Circus a poem by…

Deborah Horton

Deborah Horton Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Writer, Wife, Mom, Entrepreneur, Painter, Nerd, Human

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